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January 2, 2012
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Suffering


The morning rain is falling outside
Like the tears I'm releasing from behind.
It hurts when I see a fake smile on my face
And those scars I can't erase.
Was it really worth suffering for, was it
Really enough to just cry for. Sorrow and
Coldness wake me up every night, with
humid pillow by my side.
The pain I'm trying to hide is losing
Its battle from time to time. My heart
is breaking away, counting the pieces
that are willing to shake.
31.10.2011.
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:iconorangenblonde:
orangenblonde Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012
"My heart
is breaking away, counting the pieces
that are willing to shake."

this is my favorite line of your poem. it's a bit abstract. it allows my mind room to wonder.
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:icontinnaares:
TinnaAres Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it.
I try :)
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:iconskyla01:
skyla01 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student Writer
this is awswome work i love it
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:icontinnaares:
TinnaAres Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
and thanks for llama badge and watch btw ^^
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:iconskyla01:
skyla01 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student Writer
no prob
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:iconpiecesyettobeloved:
PiecesYetToBeLoved Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student General Artist
I understand the feel you are going for, but I feel it is somewhat generic. Some of the imagery is lovely, but once again, over used. Keep writing though, you'll go places.
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:icontinnaares:
TinnaAres Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
How do you mean generic and over used? :confused:
Thanks anyways :)
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:iconpiecesyettobeloved:
PiecesYetToBeLoved Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2012  Student General Artist
I know rain is lovely imagery and great for using it as a parallel for sorrow, but... It is often rife in all poetry. Not to say we should not use it ever, it is a wonderful thing of nature! Yet, it is a tad overused. The rest of your poem is lovely, and I just felt like the rain was not quite necessary for the message you wanted to convey. Once again, keep writing, you are headed places. :)
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:icontinnaares:
TinnaAres Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well this is the first time I ever used rain I think, I didn't know that its overused or something. I felt it was needed cause it would sound good, and still think like that.But thanks :) I will keep up.
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:iconlylasumae:
LylaSumae Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
It took me years to break the cycle of this poem in my own life. Well written.
The cycle isn't set in stone. You just have to find your own breaking point. And when you find it, you have to build yourself into what you want to be. It'll be painful, and it'll take a while, you'll have to start over a lot, but it's well worth it in the end.
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